Let Christmas Expectations Fall Like Snow

Have you heard this one already? Three clinically depressed highjumpers walk into a bar. They lower it. I’m kidding of course. Then again, I’m not kidding, (as always), because if there is anything that will help today’s mentally ill individual survive the three-ring-circus of psychological torment and emotional Armageddon known by that deceptively sweet euphemism […]

Poetry: Too Important To Be Left To The Sane

As an insecure, fear-driven youth I relied exclusively on intellect. Lacking faith in social institutions, other people, or myself, I steadfastly trusted my mind’s ability to predict and manage life’s challenges. It made for a chilly, detached existence I found satisfactory. “Poetry is far too important to be left to the sane.” Taz Mopula Manic […]

Armchair Activism: Effetes Don’t Fail Me Now

After 9/11, President Bush urged a horrified nation to visit Disneyland. This, he explained, would show terrorists that Americans couldn’t be deterred from their God-given right to pursue happiness. “Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door. However, the mice will switch all of your street signs.” Taz Mopula […]

I Sing Because I’m Happy, I Sing Because I’m Free

I felt as though the air had grown thick; I navigated it laboriously, as one walks through knee-deep water. Sweetness and flavor were gone; colors had faded into a thousand gray variations. I was 26 and thoroughly adrift. In need of employment I followed a path worn smooth by thousands of over-educated lost souls before […]

The Great Epigram Quiz

The use and abuse of quotes, aphorisms, and bromides has grown to epidemic proportions; today the Internet is awash in frequently misattributed, pithy sentiments. Who really said the following? 1.“Why pay to exercise in a gym when you can enjoy an exercise in futility for free whenever you like?” a.) Cicero b.) Snooki c.) Sisyphus […]

What’s Wrong With Being Not Right For Everyone?

My father leveraged his iconoclastic, condescending personality into an asset; and rode it to celebrity. Only much later did I come to see that he craved approval, even adulation, the way an addict craves narcotics. Like an addict, his hunger was insatiable; the more validation he received the more he needed. Watching in terrified awe, […]

Nocturnal Missions And Disappearing Acts

In 1976 I returned to Philadelphia after three years in Louisville where I worked for a newspaper and got an advanced degree. (I discovered later that an M.A. in creative writing virtually assures unemployability.) My mother had died, my father had taken up with a student of his, and I was well into a prolonged […]

Let’s Eliminate Wretched Writing

I’ve been a professional writer for 30 years and in that time I’ve learned a few things. So, with the help of with my old friend Taz, I’m going to toss out some pointers guaranteed to make you a better writer. “Technology has democratized the tools of creativity, resulting in a tsunami even more cretinous […]

The Great Art Quote Quiz

Match The Pithy Quote With Who Really Said It 1. “Poetry is far too important to be left to the sane.” a.) Rod McKuen b.) Richard Bach c.) Erich Segal d.) Taz Mopula 2. “Mediocre art misrepresents reality; great art obliterates it.” a.) Grandma Moses b.) Norman Rockwell c.) Andrew Wyeth d.) Taz Mopula 3. […]

The Heartbreak Of Terminal Hipness

Despite exciting progress in the world of mental health, millions of Americans still suffer the ravages of Terminal Hipness, a debilitating mental, emotional and spiritual disorder preventing them from experiencing life. Symptoms include: · Chronic cynicism · Faux fin de siècle ennui · Delusions of superiority · Black clothing · Obsession with irony · Devotion […]