It Isn’t The Caboose That Kills You

Even as a kid I had difficulty managing money. Along with my sketchy friends I’d go to the nearby abandoned coal yard and lay pennies out on the railroad tracks, collecting what remained once the trains were gone. If you’ve ever done this yourself you know that Lincoln is no longer recognizable, what’s left looks […]

Manic Depression: Jimi Hendrix

I was just 17 on March 31, 1968, the night I saw Jimi Hendrix in a tiny, converted tire warehouse in Philadelphia. Hendrix is iconic today, so I don’t need to describe the show. But back then he was absolutely new, unlike anything anybody had ever seen before. Playing with the guitar behind his head, […]

Don’t Raise The Bridge, Lower Your Expectations Of The River

You may find that recovery road is every bit as lonely as the road to ruin; but do not let this deter you. It all comes back to expectations, if you don’t expect a parade you can’t be disappointed when the boulevard is empty and there is no confetti in the air. “Why raise the […]

The Toxic Myth Of Manic Creativity

It is said that alcoholism is the only disease intent on convincing those who suffer they’re not sick. This deception is, of course, only one of alcoholism’s many lies, the first of which is that happiness can be purchased and consumed. There is a parallel, and equally dangerous, bit of twaddle in the world of […]

Sociology Of Mental Illness

Recently, the Party Planning Committee at Chumley Fortesque Memorial Community College invited me to deliver my bread and butter lecture, “Why You So Messed Up, Man?” I accepted. A bright-eyed assemblage of students still clutching desperately onto the concept of upward mobility, and several inebriated janitors ducking responsibilities, filled the dingy lunchroom, which had been […]

The Great Creativity Quote Quiz

Can You Accurately Attribute These Pearls Of Wisdom? “Poetry is far too important to be left to the sane.” a.) Heavy D b.) Morbidly Obese D c.) Physically Fit D d.) Taz Mopula “Mediocre art misrepresents reality; great art obliterates it.” a.) Martha Stewart b.) Norman Rockwell c.) Stacy London d.) Taz Mopula “If you […]

Let Christmas Expectations Fall Like Snow

Have you heard this one already? Three clinically depressed highjumpers walk into a bar. They lower it. I’m kidding of course. Then again, I’m not kidding, (as always), because if there is anything that will help today’s mentally ill individual survive the three-ring-circus of psychological torment and emotional Armageddon known by that deceptively sweet euphemism […]

Armchair Activism: Effetes Don’t Fail Me Now

After 9/11, President Bush urged a horrified nation to visit Disneyland. This, he explained, would show terrorists that Americans couldn’t be deterred from their God-given right to pursue happiness. “Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door. However, the mice will switch all of your street signs.” Taz Mopula […]

The Great Epigram Quiz

The use and abuse of quotes, aphorisms, and bromides has grown to epidemic proportions; today the Internet is awash in frequently misattributed, pithy sentiments. Who really said the following? 1.“Why pay to exercise in a gym when you can enjoy an exercise in futility for free whenever you like?” a.) Cicero b.) Snooki c.) Sisyphus […]

Let’s Eliminate Wretched Writing

I’ve been a professional writer for 30 years and in that time I’ve learned a few things. So, with the help of with my old friend Taz, I’m going to toss out some pointers guaranteed to make you a better writer. “Technology has democratized the tools of creativity, resulting in a tsunami even more cretinous […]