5 Ways Internet Use Causes Mental Illness

The Internet is a repository for mental illnesses of every description, but did you know that the Internet is also one of the leading causes of mental illness? That’s the conclusion of researchers at The Institute for Advanced Study of Studied Institutionalization (IASSI). At a recent press briefing, IASSI spokesman Reginald Frampton elaborated. “Mentally Ill […]

Passive/Aggressive Olympics

Passive/Aggressive Behavior ( PAB ) plays an integral role in various kinds of mental illness. Historically referred to as Obnoxious Behavior ( OB ) or just plain Irritating Behavior ( IB ), Passive/Aggressive Behavior has been identified as both symptom and cause of a dizzying assortment of psychological maladies including, but not limited to, paranoia, […]

Wing Nut or Phony?

In a culture as deeply superficial as ours it is often difficult to tell the authentic from the false. It is easy to sympathize with the phonies, poseurs, affected wannabe’s and disingenuous empty vessels passing off pilfered ideas as original, skating past any serious analysis or criticism by others as an ant might slide across […]

Insanity An Unaffordable Luxury

According to a study released recently by the American Association of Associated Americans (AAAA), insanity may soon be out of reach for all but the super-rich, if current trends continue. Chumley Throckmorton, PR Liaison for AAAA, explained the findings at a recent press event. “America was founded on democratic values,” he began, “our constitution guarantees […]

Searching for Extraterrestrial, Mentally Ill Life

Since slightly before the dawn of time, man has set his gaze on the immensity of space and wondered this – given the billions and billions of tiny dots out there, which are probably quite similar to the thing upon which I reside, circling the sun, or other large objects – and knowing what I […]

Self-Diagnosis With SynAPPS

Sooner or later we are all tormented by that nagging, unnerving question. You know the one. Am I wearing my underwear over my clothes? Is my cheese slipping off the cracker? Am I marching to the beat of a different dumber? Is the diploma in my den from Whassamatta U? Like a pebble wedged firmly […]

Sick Girls Await Mentally Ill Barbie

Since her 1959 debut, Barbie has attracted controversy the way bloated state senators attract illegal campaign contributions. Little girls admire her for what she is, but whiners, complainers, gadflies, malcontents, rabble-rousers, muckrakers, agents provocateurs, professional cynics, babies, wimps, liberals, thought policemen, and college professors are more interested in what she is not. These self-appointed custodians […]